Thinking With the Heart: The Surprising Science Behind Emotional Regulation”

Most of us are taught that emotions live in the brain. That rational thought comes first, and that feelings follow. But emerging science says otherwise — your heart might actually be leading the way.

The Brain-Heart Loop Isn’t What You Think

We’ve long believed the brain is command central. But the heart is no passive passenger — it has its own nervous system, with around 40,000 neurons. It can sense, feel, learn, and remember. This “heart brain” communicates with the actual brain constantly — and, in a twist that surprises most people, sends more signals to the brain than the brain sends to it.

According to neurocardiology research and the work of the HeartMath Institute, about 80–90% of the communication along the vagus nerve flows upward — from the heart to the brain. This information isn’t just physical — it affects emotional processing, stress response, memory, and decision-making.

That means: the state of your heart directly changes how your brain works.

When the Heart Is Calm, the Brain Can Think

When you experience frustration, anxiety, or fear, the rhythm of your heart becomes chaotic. That chaotic signal gets sent to the brain, disrupting your ability to focus, remember, or regulate emotions. But when you're feeling gratitude, love, or safety, your heart rate becomes coherent — sending smooth, rhythmic signals to the brain.

In this coherent state, cortisol drops, executive function rises, and your brain literally becomes more efficient.

So what we call “emotional regulation” might really start in the heart.

ADHD, Emotional Regulation & the Heart-Brain Connection

This is a massive insight for ADHD families.

Many kids (and adults) with ADHD struggle not because they can’t pay attention — but because their nervous system is out of sync. The external world feels too loud, unpredictable, overstimulating.

Teaching parents and children how to activate coherence — through breath, grounding, reappraisal, or connection — literally changes the rhythm of the heart and the feedback loop to the brain.

At Bonding Health, this is why our Qiks and daily behavior exercises emphasize emotional regulation first. When we calm the heart, the brain becomes a partner again — not a battlefield.