How to Help a Child with ADHD Focus: Self-Talk Solutions
Nov 14, 2024
Children with ADHD often struggle with maintaining focus, especially in environments full of distractions. But as a parent, you can help by teaching them specific self-talk strategies to manage stress, prioritize tasks, and make assignments more interesting. Here, we’ll walk through some key principles and share case studies to illustrate how you can support your child’s journey to improved focus and resilience.
Try using the phrase “tell yourself” when teaching these self-talk solutions—it helps your child become the CEO of their own brain! The real magic? Over time, you can start retiring from your full-time job as “Chief Reminder Officer.” With a little practice, they’ll be self-nagging pros in no time!
1. Managing Stress to Boost Focus
Stress can be a major distraction for kids with ADHD, making it hard to zero in on tasks. Teaching your child positive self-talk phrases to manage stress can help them refocus.
Self-Talk Solutions for Stress:
-
"I am capable and can handle this task."
-
"Stress is normal, but I have strategies to manage it."
-
"I will focus on one thing at a time."
-
“Belly breathing can help me relax and refocus."
Case Study: Alex and the Science Project
Alex, a 10-year-old with ADHD, found himself overwhelmed by a big science project. Each time he thought about it, he felt a wave of stress that made him want to avoid the task altogether. His mother introduced him to a simple self-talk routine to manage his stress.
-
Before sitting down to work, Alex practiced saying, “I am capable and can handle this task.”
-
He took deep belly breaths whenever he felt his anxiety rising.
-
Alex repeated, “I’ll focus on one thing at a time” as he worked through the project step by step.
Over time, Alex managed his stress better, which allowed him to stay focused longer and make steady progress on his project. This practice of belly breathing and positive self-talk became his go-to technique whenever schoolwork felt overwhelming.
2. Making Tasks More Interesting
Tasks that feel irrelevant or boring are challenging for any child, but especially for those with ADHD. Teaching your child to reframe tasks by connecting them to their interests or goals can make even mundane assignments more engaging.
Self-Talk Solutions for Engagement:
-
"This task is an opportunity to learn something new."
-
"My math homework is connected to my goal to work for SpaceX someday."
-
"Every task can be a step towards my goals."
Case Study: Sarah and Her Reading Assignment
Sarah, an 11-year-old with ADHD, struggled with a reading assignment about ecosystems. She found it dull and unrelated to her life. Her dad decided to help her find a connection that would make the task more appealing.
-
They talked about her love of animals and her idea to ask neighbors if they would pay her to walk their dog.
-
Her dad encouraged Sarah to say, “This task is an opportunity to learn something new.”
-
They looked for interesting facts about animals within ecosystems.
By linking her assignment to her interests, Sarah found it easier to focus, reading with more curiosity and purpose. Soon, she realized that every school task could contribute to her goals, which motivated her to try harder, even with subjects that weren’t her favorites.
3. Figuring Out What to Focus On
For children with ADHD, figuring out where to start can feel overwhelming, leading to procrastination and frustration. Teaching your child self-talk phrases for prioritization helps them stay organized and focused.
Self-Talk Solutions for Prioritizing:
-
"What is the most important task I need to accomplish right now?"
-
"I will focus on one task at a time to ensure quality work."
-
"Prioritizing tasks will help me manage my time effectively."
-
"Completing the most challenging task first can make the rest of my day easier."
Case Study: Jake and the Pile of Homework
Jake, a 12-year-old with ADHD, was frustrated by a mountain of homework. His mom suggested using prioritization self-talk to organize his tasks.
-
She encouraged him to ask, “What is the most important task I need to accomplish right now?”
-
Jake identified that his math homework was both urgent and challenging, so they started there.
-
He used the phrase, “I will focus on one math problem at a time,” to keep from feeling overwhelmed.
Over time, Jake started using these self-talk phrases on his own. By identifying priorities, he felt less overwhelmed and more in control, developing a healthier approach to his schoolwork.
4. Breaking Down Tasks into Smaller Steps
Large tasks can feel insurmountable, especially for a child with ADHD. By breaking tasks into smaller, manageable steps and using self-talk to focus on one step at a time, children can feel a sense of progress without being overwhelmed.
Self-Talk Solutions for Breaking Down Tasks:
-
"I’ll focus on one small part of this task."
-
"Completing this part will help me feel accomplished."
-
"One step at a time gets me closer to finishing."
Case Study: Emma and the Book Report
Emma, a 9-year-old with ADHD, had a book report due in a week. Each time she looked at the assignment, she felt anxious and didn’t know where to start. Her mom introduced the concept of breaking the task down into small parts and using self-talk to stay focused on one part at a time.
-
Together, they divided the project into four tasks: reading the book, taking notes, drafting the report, and finalizing it.
-
For each part, Emma would tell herself, “I’ll focus on one small part of this task.”
-
After each section, she would say, “Completing this part makes me feel accomplished,” which motivated her to keep going.
By the time she reached the final draft, Emma felt proud and less intimidated by large assignments.
Conclusion
Helping a child with ADHD focus requires patience, creativity, and encouragement. By teaching them self-talk strategies to manage stress, make tasks interesting, prioritize effectively, parents can help their children build lasting focus and resilience. These strategies don’t just improve focus—they empower children with ADHD to approach challenges with confidence, transforming obstacles into stepping stones toward success.
