Attention and Me: My Story with Focus and Lessons for ADHD Parents


Pen King

Pen King

ADHD Entrepreneur & Investor

Oct 13, 2024

Attention and Me: My Story with Focus and Lessons for ADHD Parents

Growing up with ADHD attention challenges, focusing was something I constantly struggled with. Whether it was staying on task with schoolwork, listening to instructions, or staying engaged in conversations, my mind always seemed to drift elsewhere. It wasn’t until later in life that I realized I wasn’t lazy or inattentive—my brain simply worked differently.

Now, as someone who has navigated the ups and downs of ADHD, I’m here to share my journey. My hope is that my story, and the lessons I’ve learned, can help you as a parent if you're struggling to manage your child's ADHD attention challenges. You’re not alone, and neither is your child. There are effective ways to support them, build their focus, and empower them to thrive with ADHD.

The Early Years: Where Attention Felt Unreachable

As a child, I was often called a “daydreamer.” I’d lose myself in my thoughts, missing out on lessons in class. My teachers would call my name, snapping me back to reality, but it always felt jarring—like I was being pulled from one world into another.

My parents were worried. They knew I was bright, but they couldn’t understand why I couldn’t “snap out of it” and pay attention. They tried various methods—from reward systems to stricter rules—but nothing seemed to work. In hindsight, I realize that they didn’t have the knowledge about ADHD that we have today. They were doing the best they could, but I can only imagine how helpless they must have felt.

Finding My Own Ways to Cope with ADHD Attention Challenges

It wasn’t until my teenage years that I began discovering strategies to manage my ADHD attention challenges. One of the most effective approaches was breaking tasks into smaller, more manageable pieces. If I had a long reading assignment, I’d set a timer for 10 minutes, focus as much as I could, and then take a break. This made studying feel less overwhelming and more achievable.

Another method that helped was incorporating movement into my routine. Whether it was bouncing a ball, tapping my foot, or pacing, the physical activity helped me concentrate. Later, I learned that many people with ADHD benefit from movement while working. Engaging my body made it easier to engage my mind, even though it seemed unconventional to others. For more insights into using physical activity as a focus strategy, you can explore The Benefits of Using a Sauna for ADHD Management.

As I got older, I discovered mindfulness and meditation. These practices were game-changers. Mindfulness for ADHD taught me how to gently bring my attention back to the present moment, without judgment. It was a skill that took time to develop, but it became one of my most valuable tools. I often encourage parents to explore mindfulness with their children, as it can be incredibly helpful. If you'd like to learn more about how mindfulness can support ADHD management, check out Mastering ADHD with Mindfulness and Meditation.

Advice for Parents Supporting a Child with ADHD Attention Challenges

If you’re a parent struggling to help your child manage their ADHD attention challenges, here are some strategies I’ve found helpful over the years:

1. Break Down Tasks and Set Manageable Goals

For kids with ADHD, large tasks can feel overwhelming. I often felt paralyzed by assignments that seemed too big. If your child has a significant homework assignment, break it down into smaller parts. Set a timer for 10-15 minutes, and encourage them to focus on just one section during that time. Then, let them take a break before moving on to the next part. This approach can make any task feel more achievable. You can also use tools like ADHD apps to help with task management. For some recommendations, check out the Top 7 ADHD Apps for Kids.

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2. Incorporate Movement

Movement can be a great help for children with ADHD. If your child seems distracted, let them move while working. Whether they bounce on an exercise ball, tap their foot, or pace around, movement can stimulate their brain and make focusing easier.

3. Practice Mindfulness Together

Mindfulness is a powerful tool for managing ADHD attention challenges, but it takes time to develop. Start small with a one-minute breathing exercise. Focus on slow, deep breaths in and out. Over time, you can build on this, helping your child learn to bring their attention back when it drifts. Remember, mindfulness is about kindness—if their mind wanders, guide them back without judgment.

4. Create a Supportive Environment

A supportive environment can make a big difference for a child with ADHD. Set up a dedicated space for them to work, free from distractions. At the same time, be understanding when they need breaks or seem restless. Sometimes, attention challenges can feel frustrating, and your child might worry that they’re “not good enough.” Remind them that their brain works differently, and that’s okay. To learn more about creating a supportive environment for your child, consider exploring ADHD Parenting Support: Bonding Health Circles.

5. Celebrate Small Wins

Every bit of progress counts. If your child manages to focus for a few minutes longer than usual, celebrate that achievement. Recognizing their progress builds confidence and reinforces the idea that they are capable of overcoming their challenges. For games and activities to help with emotional regulation, check out Top 10 Emotional Regulation Games.

The Power of Community

One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned is the importance of community. Connecting with others who understand your journey can be incredibly healing. That’s why I created Bonding Health, a community where ADHD parents can share their stories, ask questions, and support each other. Our Community Circles provide a safe space for parents to discuss ADHD attention challenges, among other topics. Dr. Lara Honos-Webb joins these circles, bringing her expertise and compassion to the conversation. By sharing our experiences, we create a supportive environment where parents can find the tools and encouragement they need to support their children. I encourage you to download the Bonding Health App to access these invaluable resources.

Embracing the Journey

 

Managing ADHD attention challenges is an ongoing process, but I’ve learned to see it as part of my unique journey. For parents supporting a child with ADHD, my advice is to approach this journey with patience and compassion. Your child’s path may not look like everyone else’s, and that’s okay. With understanding, tools, and a supportive community, they can thrive and discover their own strengths. If you ever feel overwhelmed or need additional support, remember you're not alone—I Have No Patience for My ADHD Child offers some helpful insights for those tough moments.

Together, we can navigate the challenges of ADHD with resilience and hope.

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