Unlock the Super Skill of Finding Gifts: Turning Negativity into Appreciation


Dr. Lara Honos-Webb

Dr. Lara Honos-Webb

Ph.D. and Clinical Psychologist

Dec 14, 2023

Unlock the Super Skill of Finding Gifts: Turning Negativity into Appreciation

Overcome your brain’s negativity bias and discover the power of appreciation.

Our brains have evolved to focus on negative events and emotions, helping us avoid potential threats. This has given us an evolutionary advantage but also made us prone to overreacting to negative stimuli. In today’s world, we’re bombarded with fear-mongering in media, advertising, and politics, which often makes us feel unappreciated. By learning to find gifts in our daily lives, we can turn negativity into appreciation and improve our well-being.

1. Recognize the Negativity Bias

  • Understand that our brains are wired to focus on negative events.
  • Acknowledge that this bias can make us feel unappreciated or undervalued.

2. Embrace Appreciation

  • Challenge yourself to remember and cherish moments of appreciation.
  • Reflect on times when others have shown appreciation for you or your actions.

3. Transform Compliments into Gifts

  • When receiving compliments, resist the urge to minimize their importance.
  • Amplify positive feedback and consider what it might say about your strengths.

Examples: Your unique sense of style, creativity, or ability to stand out.

4. Start an Appreciation Journal

  • Ask yourself questions to better understand your strengths and unique traits.
  • Write down answers and insights to reinforce positive feelings and self-perception.
  • Sample question: How have I overcome challenges or obstacles in the past? Reflect on past experiences where you’ve faced adversity and emerged stronger. This can help you identify the traits or skills that have helped you persevere, adapt, and grow.

5. Turn Criticism into Appreciation

  • When facing criticism or negative self-talk, find ways to reinterpret the message positively.
  • Embrace your individuality and preferences, turning negativity into a form of appreciation.
  • Examples: Embrace vintage, grunge, or tomboy styles instead of feeling pressured to be “up to date”.
  • By practicing these steps, you’ll develop the super skill of finding gifts and learn to appreciate yourself and others more fully. This will lead to increased positivity and well-being in your daily life.

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