Not Following Instructions: My ADHD Journey with Structure, Creativity, and Practical Solutions
Oct 15, 2024
As someone with ADHD, “not following instructions” has been a constant theme throughout my life. It’s a symptom that has surfaced in countless ways—from missing the details on a school assignment to taking a more “creative” approach to tasks at work. While many people see instructions as helpful guides to ensure everything goes smoothly, I’ve often found them to be barriers that complicate things. My ADHD mind tends to wander off track, especially when I feel confined by a set of rigid steps. Over the years, I’ve learned a lot about why I struggle with instructions and how I can navigate around this challenge.
Early Frustrations and Fitting In
Growing up, I never understood why following instructions was so difficult for me. Teachers would give out assignments with clear, step-by-step directions, but I would find myself skipping ahead, creating my own steps, or ignoring parts entirely. It wasn’t that I didn’t care about the outcome; in fact, I often had high hopes for my work. But the instructions felt like they were holding me back, constraining my creativity and energy. My teachers would frequently get frustrated, and I was often labeled as careless or inattentive.
I remember in elementary school, I had a project where I was supposed to build a small model based on specific guidelines. Instead of following the step-by-step instructions, I decided to go off-book and create something different. My project didn’t match the assignment, but I was proud of it. However, when my teacher saw it, she was disappointed that I hadn’t followed the directions. I felt crushed and confused—why did it matter so much that I had done it differently if the result was something I was proud of?
Learning the Root Cause
As I got older, I started to understand that my difficulty with following instructions wasn’t just a stubborn refusal to comply. ADHD affects the brain’s executive functions, which are responsible for planning, organizing, and controlling impulses. When I’m presented with a set of instructions, my brain can’t always process them in a linear way. Instead, I get distracted by other possibilities, curious about alternate ways of doing things or eager to jump into the task without fully considering all the steps involved.
ADHD also makes it difficult to retain detailed information, so while I might understand the instructions when I first hear them, I often lose track of them along the way. I’d end up winging it or finding shortcuts, which sometimes worked out and other times didn’t. This led to a cycle of feeling frustrated with myself, as if I just wasn’t good enough to stick to the plan.
Embracing My Own Path
One thing I’ve learned over the years is that while following instructions can be essential, there are ways to make the process easier and more aligned with how my ADHD brain works. I started breaking down instructions into smaller parts, focusing on one step at a time instead of trying to absorb everything at once. I also learned to ask for clarification or even rewrite instructions in my own words. This helped me make sense of what I needed to do without feeling overwhelmed.
In situations where I have more freedom, I often allow myself to follow a more flexible path. If I’m working on a creative project, I’ll outline the basic steps but give myself permission to explore different approaches along the way. By adapting tasks to fit my own way of thinking, I’ve been able to complete projects in a way that works for me, and I’ve learned that instructions don’t always have to be followed to the letter.
Finding Balance
Today, I realize that while it’s okay to adapt instructions to fit my needs, there are times when following them closely is necessary. In those situations, I’ve learned to pause and remind myself that this is about doing things differently, not about abandoning them entirely. I create mental or physical checklists, which help me stay on track and remember the important steps.
My journey with instructions has taught me a lot about resilience and creativity. I’ve found ways to work around my ADHD tendencies and embrace my own unique strengths. To all the parents out there with children who struggle to follow instructions, remember that it’s not a sign of defiance or lack of caring. It’s just another way that ADHD brains interact with the world, and with the right tools and support, they can learn to succeed in their own way.
