How to Tell if Someone with ADHD Likes You


Pen King

Pen King

ADHD Entrepreneur & Investor

Mar 20, 2024

How to Tell if Someone with ADHD Likes You

Ever met someone super interesting and full of energy, but their attention seems to jump around like a pinball? Maybe they forget things sometimes or get excited about certain topics. If this sounds familiar, you might be crushing on someone with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder).

ADHD is a common neurodevelopmental condition that affects how the brain processes information and regulates attention. Studies suggest that around 30% of teens with ADHD experience social difficulties, which can sometimes make it tricky to decipher their feelings (https://www.additudemag.com/tag/social-skills/). People with ADHD can be incredibly fun, creative, and passionate, but their symptoms can sometimes make it challenging to navigate the world of crushes and relationships. So, how do you navigate this and tell if that special someone with ADHD likes you back? Buckle up, because we’re about to crack the code!

Crash Course: 5 Key Takeaways

    • Focused Attention: They give you their full attention (when they can!), ask follow-up questions, and their body language shifts when they’re around you. Don’t sweat a lack of continuous eye contact.
    • Initiation is Key: They text you first, suggest hangouts, and actively seek your company. But remember, friendliness doesn’t always equal romantic interest.
    • Memory Magic (Sometimes!): They might recall details you share, showing they’re listening and interested. Don’t get discouraged if they forget something occasionally.
    • Passion Project Sharing: They share their hobbies and interests with you, a way to connect and show you their world.
    • Hyper-Focused Fun: They get super into spending time with you, having deep talks, or learning about your interests. It’s a sign they truly enjoy your company.

How to tell if someone with ADHD likes you

how to tell if someone with ADHD likes you

Keep an eye out for certain clues if you’re curious about whether a person with ADHD has taken a fancy to you. They might seem extra attentive when you’re chatting, be the ones to kick off conversations often or jump to reply to your messages right away. It’s key to remember, though, that everyone has their unique way of showing interest, and these indicators can differ widely from one individual to another.

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but here are some general signs:

  • They give you their undivided attention (when they can!).
  • They seek you out and initiate conversations or hangouts.
  • They remember details about you (sometimes!).

It’s also important to consider that ADHD can manifest in different ways, so these signs may not always be present. If you’re interested in someone, the best way to find out if they like you back is to communicate with them directly.

Decoding the Language of Likes: What to Look For

While there’s no one-size-fits-all answer (because everyone’s unique!), here are some tell-tale signs that someone with ADHD might be crushing on you:

They Give You Their Undivided Attention (When They Can!)

People with ADHD often struggle to focus, but when they’re genuinely interested in someone, they put in the extra effort to be present. They might make eye contact more often, ask follow-up questions, and seem genuinely invested in what you have to say. Pay attention to how their body language shifts when they’re around you. Do they lean in? Minimize distractions by putting their phone away. These subtle cues can speak volumes.

Keep in mind: While someone with ADHD might struggle to maintain eye contact for extended periods, it doesn’t mean they’re not interested. Look for other signs of engagement, like nodding or responding thoughtfully to your conversation.

They Seek You Out and Initiate

People with ADHD can be quite impulsive, and if they like you, they might not be shy about showing it. They might text you first, ask you to hang out or go the extra mile to spend time with you. They’ll genuinely enjoy your company and actively seek it out.

Remember: Don’t confuse friendliness with romantic interest. Just because someone with ADHD is chatty with everyone doesn’t automatically mean they have a crush. Look for a shift in their behaviour specifically towards you.

They Remember the Details (Sometimes!)

One common misconception about ADHD is that people with it can’t remember anything. While it’s true that up to 50% of adults with ADHD report experiencing problems with memory ( https://chadd.org/attention-article/adhd-and-working-memory/) if they like you, they’ll likely remember things that matter to you. They might recall your favourite band, a movie you mentioned wanting to see, or a detail you shared about your life. It shows they’re actively listening and interested in getting to know you better.

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Heads Up: Difficulty with focus can sometimes lead to forgetfulness, even for things they care about. Don’t take it personally if they forget a specific detail you mentioned.

Beyond the Basics: Unique Signs of Affection from Someone with ADHD

People with ADHD express themselves in unique ways. Here are some less-common signs that someone with ADHD might be smitten:

They Share Their Passions with You

People with ADHD are often incredibly passionate about their hobbies and interests. If they like you, they might want to share this passion with you. They might drag you to a museum exhibit they’re excited about, or spend hours explaining their favorite video game. It’s their way of connecting with you and showing you a part of their world.

People with ADHD can experience hyperfocus, a state of intense concentration on something they find particularly interesting. If they get hyper-focused on spending time with you, having deep conversations, or learning about your interests, it’s a good sign they enjoy your company.

Their Excitement is Contagious!

People with ADHD often have an infectious zest for life. If they light up when they see you, their excitement bubbles over, or they come up with spontaneous plans to do something fun together, it could be a sign they genuinely enjoy being around you.

Understanding the Flip Side: Things to Consider

While the signs above are encouraging, it’s important to remember that ADHD can sometimes manifest in ways that might seem confusing. Here are some things to keep in mind:

  • Distractibility Doesn’t Equal Disinterest: Someone with ADHD might get distracted during a conversation, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re not interested in what you have to say. Be patient and try to gently refocus the conversation.
  • Impulsiveness Can Be Misinterpreted: Someone with ADHD might blurt out something flirty or make a grand gesture without fully thinking it through. While it can sometimes come off as a bit much, it’s often just their way of showing enthusiasm and interest. Don’t be too quick to judge; sometimes, the heart just skips a beat and words tumble out before the brain catches up.
  • Forgetfulness Isn’t a Sign of Fading Interest: Forgetting dates or details isn’t uncommon in individuals with ADHD due to their attention challenges. If they miss a text or forget a special day, it’s not a reflection of their feelings towards you. It’s just that their brain is often juggling a lot at once. Remember, it’s the big picture that counts, not the occasional slip-up.
  • Time Management May Be Tricky: Someone with ADHD might struggle with punctuality or planning dates. This isn’t because they don’t care or aren’t looking forward to spending time with you. Managing time can be a real hurdle. Showing a bit of flexibility and understanding can make all the difference.
  • Hyperfocus Can Be a Double-Edged Sword: At times, a person with ADHD might hyperfocus on something that interests them, including a person they like. While this can mean you’ll get a lot of attention, it might also swing to the other extreme where they seem overly focused on other interests. It’s a balance, and understanding this aspect can help you navigate the relationship better.

Conclusion

In the whirlwind world of ADHD, reading signs of affection might feel like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube blindfolded. But remember, the heart of the matter is this: patience and understanding go a long way. If you spot distractibility, don’t mistake it for disinterest. Impulsiveness? It’s just their heart skipping a beat, maybe in your direction.

In essence, navigating these waters requires a bit of grace and a lot of heart. So, next time you’re puzzling over mixed signals, take a step back. Maybe, just maybe, you’re already catching someone’s eye. After all, love in the ADHD world isn’t about finding someone who sits still; it’s about finding someone whose heart races – possibly because of you.

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